The Autoblow 2 Has An Offer for Ryan Lochte

After the controversy that took place in Brazil, one company wants to be Ryan Lochte’s sponsor–the Autoblow 2.

Ryan Lochte has lost his sponsors after fabricating a story to authorities in Brazil about being robbed at gunpoint. Since Speedo, Ralph Lauren, and others have dropped him, one company has come out of the woodwork to show their support. The Autoblow 2 is a mastrabutory device for men that tries to replicate the sensation of receiving oral sex. Below is an excerpt of their press release that attempts to recruit Ryan Lochte:
“It takes years of dedication and practice to win one Olympic Medal let alone 12, so I see in him a man with qualities our brand stands for. I forgive him for his mistake and want to put him in front of an audience of men who admire him as the champion he is to help us promote the champion of masturbation devices: the Autoblow 2, said Autoblow inventor Brian Sloan. “The Autoblow 2’s tireless motor exemplifies the Olympic spirit much as Lochte did while winning his medals,” he added.
The Autoblow 2’s offer to Ryan Lochte is as follows:
We will send him to a photo studio and pay him $10,000 for a photograph of him holding the Autoblow 2+ while smiling and pointing at it. We will add the following caption and use the image in our advertisements: Autoblow 2: the masturbation device Olympic champions chose.
$10k for just a photograph! Man, wouldn’t be awesome to be famous? If I were Lochte, I think I’d take them up on this offer. It’s not like he can get much worse as far as PR goes.