Make Love Not Lunch, It’s The Law

That time your boss said, “You’re attitude is a problem. Frankly, you need to get laid. Don’t come back to work until that’s happened.”

Your representatives in the bureaucracy are supposed to be your voice government, but what if they got a lot more personal? Instead of arguing on your behalf in an assembly, he or she was at your home preparing a candlelit dinner. Rather than writing laws, he or she was penning love letters to your spouse in your name. Forget meeting with lobbyists, what if your reps were hosting Pure Romance parties in your home? Why would they do this? The birth rate is tanking all over the world and that scares some people.

In fact, one Swedish city councillor, Per-Erik Muskos, made the news recently because he put forth a motion to give employees paid time off for a nooner. “I believe that sex is a scarce commodity in many long term relationships. Everyday life is stressful and the children are at home. This could be an opportunity to have their own time.” Muskos went on to explain the many health and wellness benefits of sex in the IBT UK piece, and concluded that it would encourage childbirth as well. While the amount of calories burned may not be as significant as we think, sex is a bullet train to our mental happy place. So, I can’t fault his logic there.

Take your little blue pill, your break is in an hour! No pressure, right? What about those single coworkers? “Enjoy your break, I’ll just probably stay at work and watch porn.” On the other hand, it’s great that this is a proposal at a government level and not from employers. Workplace policies can be inconsistent when it comes to leaving early and taking breaks. Employers make exceptions for parents to cut out early to pick up kids while the childless folks stick it out. Smokers seem to get numerous breaks while the tobacco-free slave on.

Can a paid break for sex increase the population of Moskos home town of Övertorneå? First the motion will have to pass, then we’ll have to wait and see. If it works, this small town councilman may have pointed all the other countries with low birthrates in the right erection. Stay tuned for my next story, “Man who makes terrible puns spends sex break alone.”